Sunday, February 28, 2010
A little too late to worry
Prasad was reading this book called Outliers and read out bits and parts to me. In one portion of the book, it studies the demographics of professional Canadian hockey players and found that 60% of the players were born between Jan-April and this was consistent across all professional players across the country. They correlated this to the children's hockey enrollment cutoff being January 1st. The older children had the advantage of being more coordinated and skilled and were picked for the advanced teams, they had more practice on the rink, access to the best coaches and eventually this advantage carried through in their life. This age aspect was very evident for sports where a special rink/equipment was needed unlike basketball where in the US, everyone has access to a court so they could practice as much as they wanted. He correlated practice as one of the main factors in people excelling at a skill and that talent played a small part. He researched musicians and found that if the musicians were categorized into less experienced musicians (teachers), medium level ones (play professionally) and the stars, that the biggest differentiating factor is the number of hours they practiced. 10,000 hours of practice was some sort of magical number for musicians and once they clocked that number, they reached their pinnacle. According to the book, the age advantage plays out in school also. The older children especially during the younger grades have an advantage which boosts their confidence and gives them access to advanced classes. The skillset advantage evens out by 10 but by then the older children already benefitted from their age advantage. Prasad and I discussed how I agonized whether to enroll Sindhura in kindergarten when she was 4 or hold her back a year. Now reading this book, I think we should have held her back and I was thinking, great, I ruined her life and there is no going back. I wonder if it's a good thing to read books like this after the fact. Maybe we can find something that she enjoys doing so she can clock the magical 10,000 hours of practice. We know what Rushil likes but he already thinks he's good enough at it. Or maybe I should go back to going with the flow and hope for the best.
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12 comments:
A very interesting read for both of you (along this line of discussion) is the Talent Code. Amazing book, will be blogging about it shortly, am reading it now. Put it on your to-read list :)
The 10,000 hour applies to anything - reading, writing, speaking, anything, not just music, sports etc. So the more a child reads, for example, the faster and better they will be at it when they are older. So the earlier one starts to read, the better. Which supports your sending Sindhu to school when you did :)
There is a HUGE difference in my reading speed and comprehension compared to others I know, and this 10,000 hour theory may be valid, as I read like a fiend while growing up.
This holding back business is becoming ridiculous here in the US - 7 year old boys in Kinder, then it will be 8yr olds, etc. It is never ending.
As you can see I am against holding back for social reasons! :) :) I was the youngest, smallest in my class throughout my schooling. Confidence needs to come from within, that is where we can help our kids. Or so I hope!
I agree with Raji. I fundamentally have issues with Malcolm Gladwell's rigor in observations as was evidenced in blink and to an extent in outliers. He is an entertaining author for sure but I am not sure I agree with his cause and effect pieces.
In the following chapters - he makes a comment where he talks about IQ and Genius and says somewhat the opposite - that a threshold is good enough to qualify (in other words someone with an IQ of 190 is not 30% smarter than someone with an IQ of 150)
In the case for any "skill" based work, innate talent and interest will make you do more of it.
I would argue that Googlers definitely had "Fewer hours" under their belts than the equivalent "Microsoft/Yahoo" geniuses.
We too have Anika who is the youngest person in her class and Nina who is in the middle of her class (her cut off is Sept 1st).
I am convinced that circumstances will really shape their final outcome.
:)
P.S - I loved the Talent code.
I just read it and it has influenced me so much that I tell everyone about. Keshini will be the youngest in her class forever and life is unfair so this means I need to give her extra tutoring all the time. It made me a think about a lot of things. I see the same for you guys.
In the back of my mind, I have always wondered if I should have held Sindhu back, this is something I have regretted for many years and it's mainly because of her personality. Prasad reading snippets out to me reinforced it, he has not finished the book and has probably returned it to the library but I can't help but still worry about it. I'll check out the Talent Code. Raji, yes the practice applies to anything and that even worries me even more other than maybe that she reads a lot even though I think she could choose better books. California's cutoff is Dec 1st and Sindhu was born on the 27th of November, it really was a tossup and confidence may come from within but when you go to a school where all the kids (and I mean 90% of them) are reading/writing at a 1st grade level and your child is not reading yet, it makes a difference than can influence you for the rest of your life. I still remember incidents from when I was 5 or 6 that I think still shape my life.
Oh, Dec 1 is the cutoff? In Texas it is Sept 1. Her bday is sooo close to the cutoff, wow. Your Bay Area is too full of desis and other Asians and their Kumon-crazed competitiveness. I can see why you will always wonder. I am sure she will come out of it sailing.
Mythili - I think based on what I know about you - you turned out wonderfully so whatever shaped your life at age 5 and 6 worked..
It will work well for Sindhu as well as I hope it will for Anika who is 15 days beyond the cutoff (she is Sept 15th and the cutoff is Sept 1st).
My fear is that she will be hanging out with kids who can drive a year before she can and start dating a year before she should and drink a year before she is legally allowed :) I worry that she will just not be emotionally mature enough to say no! These incidents will shape her just as much as the academic / extracurricular pieces in life..
Although, looking at the personalities of my kids - Anika is the stronger one emotionally and Nina is the one likely to give into peer pressure..
Heck - this conversation really needs to occur over drinks and face to face!!
Yes Raji, this is the problem with the bay area, wish there was more diversity :-)
Yes Teju, this is something better discussed face to face.
By the way, this is Manju's comment verbatim: "When Prasad was here last night and we also talked about the book. Nithya is a year behind her peers not just a few days or weeks. She just turned 10 this week out of her classmates that are all 11 going on 12. I was the youngest in my class as well. I strongly feel that as parents if we don't make a big deal about the age difference and instead empower her to find her inner confidence and a sense of humor to not worry about the things she can not do because of a number then she'll be fine. I am not a big fan of being told I can do something because of a certain age. It's not something I grew up with. In Iowa, kids drove tractors as young as 9 or 10. I was driving a car on my own here in San Jose at 15. My parents and uncles introduced alcohol to me starting from age 12. Age restrictions should be a guideline but not the be all and end all of life. I've heard all the thoughts that younger kids are lacking in social and emotional development. But I don't believe that's true. Each child is product of their community at a young age. If you provide them with a strong emotional and social fabric and enough chances at a younger age to be independent then you build in them the strength not to give into peer pressure, for example. Personally, I feel that exposing your child to as much as you can, good and bad, while they are young is better. As parents we still can exert some influence on teaching them consequences of actions like drugs, sex, self image issues, etc. However, letting them tackle these same issues on their own in the teen age years and early college years where parents are mostly viewed as "not being with the times" really undermines what we can do to influence them. Nithya going to India mostly on her own at age 7 was the best thing we did. At the time it was hard on me but Nithya developed a strong sense of family, is immensely close to both sets of grandparents, loves the chaos of India, hates poverty and takes pride in her desi heritage. Isn't that what matters most...not how many words per minute one can read or how many multiplication tables she can recite in 2 minutes. I feel so strongly about this that I am planning on sending Megha on her own this winter as well. She's already 7. For myself, being the youngest allowed me one extra year to travel after college instead of focusing on getting married right away. Having children while younger also was better for me health wise and stamina wise. Since my parents didn't stress about being a certain age to do something, we learned that anything in life can be accomplished any time, no matter how old you are. We had to practice, yes, but hard work is part of life. After Prasad's visit, I plan to read the book, but based on our discussion I already have issues. :-)" - manju
Well said Manju.
I think as you rightly pointed out, the thread here is focusing on the inner struggles as a parent, our need to say out loud to a community that shares our anxieties and aspirations, the loss of childhood and the need to protect and shelter our children.
While I agree with the overall philosophy of age not being a barrier - we all work with people who are not anywhere near our age and have over time learned to adapt. The challenges each person faces are different and unique in their quest for a life that matters. Many of the challenges our kids face today are fundamentally different and multi dimensional as compared to what we went through I think we worry that not all kids are wired to cope effectively. Our anxieties manifest themselves in restoring order in the face of uncertainty.
It is very routine for young children now to see dysfunctional and broken families, death at a much earlier age, financial difficulties, graphic representations of the excesses of war and conflict. This is in addition to the onslaught of media (online, internet, TV etc.)
In addition, as parents, we are an older set of parents compared to our parents and therefore have had different experiences prior to parenthood to bring to bear and we ourselves live far more complex lives than our parents did.
All great ideas and thoughts and unfortunately for us - many more dimensions to operate within..
Mythili
Does this tell anything about blogs being outdated? :-) Ya'll might find
the following interesting read:
http://www.bothsidesofthetable.com/2010/02/27/entrepreneurship-nature-vs-nurture-a-religious-debate/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+BothSidesOfTheTable+(Both+Sides+of+the+Table)&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
tk
Interesting read TK, he is a popular blogger. Nice to hear from Manju on the topic, obviously something she feels passionate about.
Looks like a hot topic for everyone! Good to hear all of your views on it (but i still think I should have gone with my instincts years ago) I guess I can worry a little less.
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