Happy New Year!!

We celebrated New Year's Eve in a quiet fashion this year. We only arrived on the 30th night so we had no solid plans for New Year's Eve. We went out to dinner at F&B which is a very trendy restaurant where they serve 3 different types of cuisine, Indian, Italian and Thai. The food was delicious.

The streets were full of people and we saw a few groups of young people getting ready for some heavy clubbing. It seems like New Year's Eve is not such a big holiday here. Most establishments are open on January 1st. In Bangalore, some restaurants and most hotels had special celebrations planned but mainly catered for expats, NRIs and the young crowd.

I don't have any New Year's resolutions but these are some of the items I would like to take care of this year.

1) Exercise more. I say this every year but have to keep it there as it is very important. After moving to India, I have not found a proper routine.

2) Be a better parent. A broad goal but mainly I need to be more patient with the children.

3) Join a charity or NGO organization and volunteer my time. There are so many avenues to explore so I need to get involved in something this year.

4) Improve Rushil and Sindhu's skin. This is the one main issue we have after arriving in India.

5) Hoping that Sindhura will enjoy India more. She is enjoying it here most of the time but I think she doesn't know it yet :-)

Wish you all the very best in the upcoming year and we hope that all of you will come and visit us.

Spat with 2 women

At the Meenakshi temple, I got into a spat with two women. It was hot, muggy and we had walked through some murky water to get to the line. After 45 minutes of waiting, a whole group of people tried to cut into the line. Two women tried to cut in in front of me. Did I mention that it was hot, humid and the kids were cranky? I went off my top and refused to let them in. Eventually, she did cut in line behind us, I guess I had some satisfaction as we were ahead of them and the priest was extra nice to us. Her reasoning on why it was ok to cut the line, everyone else was doing it and it was her right because she was paying 100 Rupees for the ticket. Everyone in that line was paying the same amount so I'm not sure why that made her special. Sindhura was embarrassed by the whole affair and asked me to stop arguing with them. Later on, Prasad overhead them discussing whether we were from India or not :-)

Back from Kerala

We're back from Kerala and we had a wonderful time!! We flew into Madurai and the plan was to drive to Kerala from there. That was probably a mistake in retrospect for multiple reasons. We stayed overnight at GRT Regency in Madurai which we liked although the food was overpriced. Our adventure started in the morning, our driver was supposed to come at 9AM, we had booked a Tempo Travellor since we were going to be 8 people. He arrived at 9AM but with a Qualis as the Tempo Travellor (12 seater) was still on its way. We decided to visit the Meenakshi Temple but unfortunately, they were painting the goparams so they were covered and we did not get to experience the splendor of the temple. The kids complained the whole time as Rushil did not like walking barefoot and Sindhura found it too hot and crowded. A priest helped us get around, he spoke to us in Hindi at first and then alternated between English and Hindi as I guess he couldn't figure out where we were from. After our temple visit, our plan was to head to Munnar. This is where we made our mistake. Our Qualis driver told us that the Tempo Travellor would arrive between 2 to 4pm. We ignored the 4pm part and assumed he would be at our hotel by 2pm. The travel agent promised us the driver would arrive within 15 minutes and this dragged on for hours. In the end, we left at 4pm and we only arrived in Munnar at midnight. Prasad's theory was that when the agent had said the car would get there between 2-4 pm, we should have taken the hint and made our plans based 4pm as that was the more likely time the vehicle would have arrived. More on our adventures in Kerala in the upcoming posts.

Off to Kerala

We're off to Kerala today for a few days. We'll be meeting up with our friends Krithiga, Subhas, Surina and Arjun, our friends from California. More about the trip when we get back. Happy Holidays!

Skin

One of our main issues in Bangalore is Rushil's skin. He has had a few skin infections and his skin is generally very dry and itchy. We've seen a homeopath and he has been taking medication but so far we have not seen any improvement. The allopathic doctors are somewhat baffled by Rushil's skin and although they are suggesting many things, and we see an improvement for a short period of time, once we stop the treatment, something new crops up. Even Sindhura's eczema is worse after moving to India but her skin is not as bad as Rushil's. Rushil did have eczema in California and he has been tested for allergies and we're avoiding the allergens but there is something else that he is reacting to. We'll take him for further allergy tests once his skin improves as we'll need to stop some medication to get accurate results. Maybe it will give us a clue as to what else we should avoid. We saw an ayurvedic doctor recently who has said that he can improve Rushil's skin significantly but unfortunately, that medicine is not easy to ingest. We're going to Kerala for the holidays so we'll cross check with an ayurvedic doctor and perhaps start the treatment when we get back. Yes, we're trying many things but it doesn't seem like one treatment alone is sufficient whether it is allopathic or alternative. All the doctors are saying he will outgrow this but it will take some time. In the meantime, he is suffering quite a bit although it doesn't deter him from having fun.

Free lawn mowing

There are many empty plots in our neighborhood. Every day, a cow herder brings in a couple of cows to graze on these empty plots. Serves multiple purposes, cows are fed and the grass doesn't grow out of control. Ofcourse, given the number of empty plots, we would need more than a couple of cows to be grazing, but nevertheless, great idea nah?

Pubs in Bangalore

Our friend Garima is in Bangalore this weekend. We decided to have a girl's night out and check out the night life. Garima knew about the 11:30PM curfew but was not aware that dancing is prohibited at night clubs, yes can you believe that? We had dinner at Ebony and then headed over to 13th floor. They had great music but all the seats were taken and since dancing is not allowed, most of the people were hanging out, talking and of course drinking. The early curfew and no dancing rule really makes the pub scene in Bangalore quite dismal. We didn't stay very long at 13th floor but overall we had a fun night out and it was great to catch up and find out all the news with the playgroup.

May I help you, Madam?

The cook, the maid, the driver, store keepers, anyone offering services, address their customers by madam (ma'am) or sir. I believe it is a sign of respect. I feel somewhat uncomfortable being addressed this way as there is some underlying hierarchy that comes into play but it's used so pervasively that I'm getting used to it. At work, everyone addresses each other by their name so in that respect it is similar to the US although that could be because I work at an MNC and high tech company. Probably at other companies, people address their managers by "Sir" or "Madam". I would feel extremely uncomfortable if I was addressed by "ma'am" or if I had to address others by madam or sir at work. I was reading an article on this topic at the workplace which seems to describe it well. Sindhu was telling me that many of her classmates address their teacher by calling her "Ma'am", but she doesn't feel comfortable so she uses Ms or Ms Anuradha. I think at the non-international schools they used "madam". It's an interesting cultural difference.

Salad

OK, I'm not sure how scrumptious this salad looks but it is really delicious and lowfat. This is my cook's invention and every day after work, I gobble down a bowl of this before getting on with my evening. The red colour is from beet roots which I was never a fan of it before but it is a mainstay for us now. He adds beets, cucumbers, tomatoes, cilantro, onions, lemon and a dash of salt. Occasionally, he'll add slivers of mango or cucumbers, or other variations. Given we don't speak a common language, I don't know where he picked up this dish but he did go to a culinary institute in Orissa so maybe he learned it there.

Prasad's friend Prashanth and his wife Shobha introduced us to Paresh our cook. The other day Paresh was telling Shobha that he'll be out of town for a few weeks and that he'll send his friend as his replacement during his absence. He told her that his friend is quite old though, he's 37 but he'll do fine. Shobha asked Paresh how old he was, he's only 19!! No wonder he thinks a 37 year old is so old. Can I feel any older?!?

Santa in India?

Rushil asked me yesterday if Santa comes to India on Christmas Eve? I thought this gave me an out and maybe I wouldn't have to buy Christmas gifts for the children. So with a straight face, I said, no, he does not. Rushil started crying and saying that he wants to go back to the US so he doesn't miss Santa. Yes, I know I'm cruel. Anyway, I told him I was joking and that ofcourse Santa will visit us in India, he visits every child all over the world. He wiped his tears and said ok and that he would like to write Santa a letter. I guess I should start my Christmas shopping.

Quotes from Rushil

The other day, I was rushing to get the kids ready for school, Rushil casually mentions, "Mommy, you don't look like a mommy"
I, distractedly said, "Really, what do I like look?"
He said, "You look like my sister!"
Well I was flattered however, he also never fails to tell me that I need to lose weight. He rubs my tummy and he says "Mommy you're getting fat, you need to exercise. "

So yesterday, he and Prasad went to pick up Sindhura at tennis class. On his way out of the house, Rushil told me that he would like me to use the free time I had waiting for them to come back to take a walk as it is good exercise. In the car, he shares in confidence with Prasad that his reason for giving me that advice is that "He cares about me."

Every day, he says something that should be recorded, I wish I could capture all his anecdotes as probably in a year or two, he'll be more reserved and I'll miss all those cute things he used to say as I do with Sindhu. Often Sindhu and I will share a smile between us when Rushil says something cute and he doesn't even know it.

Indus Day

Today marked the last school day of the year for Sindhura and Rushil and it ended with a big bang. They pulled off a school program for all the primary students (400+ of them). It was an impressive program with Bharatanatyam dances, Rajasthani dances, singing, instrumental musical, yoga and karate show, skits and lots of songs. Rushil was in the front row for the kindergartners and enthusiastically sang a song with his class. Sindhura played a doll in a play for 4th graders and did a great job in clearly saying her lines. The theme of the program was to protect the environment and all the skits revolved around that theme. If I can figure how to, I'll post videos of the children's performances.

Reading Milestones

Rushil has started reading this year. He has made phenomenal progress in the last 2 months. In order to encourage Rushil, Prasad told him, that he is almost ready to move to Chapter books. Rushil doesn't really know what a Chapter book is but he knows it's a big deal. Last night, we were reading a book and suddenly he noticed the page numbers at the bottom and he asked, "Mommy, am I reading a chapter book?" I said , no, why do you ask, and he said, "Then what are those numbers at the bottom of the page?" I think he has been so focussed on reading and sometimes trying to guess the words by looking at the pictures, that he never noticed the page numbers before. Anyway, I guess it's time I show him what a chapter book looks like and why we call it that. He's seen Sindhu's books all over the house but he never took an interest before.

Sindhu is learning Hindi as a 2nd language at school. She has struggled with the alphabet in the past couple of months and was complaining that she felt lost during Hindi class. We decided to hire a tutor. I found an engineering college student who tutors Hindi and comes to our home twice a week. He is just wonderful, Sindhu has made great progress in less than a month and has caught up with the class. Now she is reading small words, the next step is to get her to understand Hindi as that is our end goal. All this reading and writing is probably not going to help her much if we move back to the US but learning to understand and speak the language will be priceless. And yes, I guess we should teach her Telugu too, one step at a time.

Increased Security

Since the Mumbai blasts, many places have added more security. At my office, most recently, they are checking our car, the trunk, under the car and they even have dogs that I presume sniff for explosives. At Sindhu and Rushil's school, they have also made some drastic changes. Each child is given an ID badge and parents now have to be escorted when they are in the school. Earlier we could walk freely in the campus. The malls always had metal detectors and people that checked our bags, so I don't see a huge difference but perhaps they are educated now on what they should be looking for, at least I hope so.

I have mixed feelings about all this security. I do want my children to be protected and I'm glad the school is thinking about improving their safety and implementing changes but to what extreme. Seeing all this security is a constant reminder to me that we are not safe...

Year End Party

2008 is coming to an end and we really wanted to have a party before 2009 kicked in. Given we'll be travelling the next few weekends, this was the last weekend we could entertain. We were supposed to have the party last weekend, but Sindhu was sick so we postponed it to this weekend. We had invited friends from the same layout/community. Two of the families moved to India around the same time as us from California. One of them had a 3 girls and Sindhu took off to their house for a sleepover. One family we knew from Sindhu and Rushil's school, we see them every day at the bus stop. The father is Indian and the mother is Japanese and both of them speak Japanese and Hindi and so does their son. Our neighbors also came over, and have an interesting story. Both recently quit their jobs and are meanwhile doing volunteer work at schools and also figuring out what they want to do next in their careers. Finally Zubin a friend mine from highschool whom I haven't seen in over 20 years came by. We had reconnected on Facebook and he currently lives in Singapore with his family and was in Bangalore on business.

The highlights of the party: The kids had a great time dancing to music, playing hide and seek and other games. Prasad served Pomegranate Martinis which were a big hit!

Sindhura has done me proud

Homework has always been a sore point between Sindhu and I. All our discussions around homework are pretty unpleasant. On Tuesday, Sindhu announced that there was a project that she forgot about and that it had to be completed by Thursday or Friday. This is not the first time I hear about a project at the last minute. To be fair to her though, she was sick over the weekend and she did do her regular homework but forgot about this one. Anyway, she had to do a project on a hero and she chose Mahatma Gandhi, she was oscillating back and forth since she also had to dress up like him for the presentation part and she was not thrilled about that. Anyway, after 3 evenings, she pulled off the project by herself and did an amazing job! This was the first time, that other than photocopying some pictures for her poster and some brainstorming, I did not help her at all. I have seen a change in her since Diwali. She had a huge Human Body project which was painful for both of us as it took forever for her to complete but ever since then, she has taken control of her homework and we have had a fairly peaceful few weeks. I'm holding my breath to see if this continues...

Top Ten Things I miss About the US.

I got the idea of doing a Top Ten from my buddy. Here's my Top Ten list of things I miss about California.

1. I miss the long hot showers in my cozy bathroom back in Fremont, geysers just don't provide enough hot water to have a long hot shower.
2. I miss MNOs with my friends.
3. I miss being able to pick up the phone and calling my parents or my brother from my cell phone on my way home from work.
4. I miss driving (more the independence of getting around on my own but not the driving part)
5. I miss not worrying about mosquitos and poisonous snakes. I know there are rattle snakes in CA, but I never worried about them.
6. I miss seeing clean roads, far less pollution and our huge backyard.
7. I miss seeing everyone in the playgroups and all our other friends.
8. I miss not seeing so much poverty on a daily basis.
9. I miss buying western clothing but the Indian clothing shopping does somewhat make up for it.
10. I miss eating a moist piece of chocolate cake. Cakes here are kind of dry.

Bizarre and Sad stories in the newspapers

In the Times of India, they have a small section on local crimes such as murder and robbery. Everyday there is some new story and many are very bizarre and sad. Today's newspaper had this article about this man who killed his wife and child and few others as he was promised a treasure if he sacrificed them. This particular story did make the front page but many are just a tiny article somewhere in the middle of the newspaper.

Littering

As many of you probably already know, littering is a big problem in India. In order for the streets and sidewalks to be cleaned up, there has to be a huge culture change. It is perfectly normal for someone to walk down the street, open a candybar and throw the wrapper on the ground without blinking an eye. Sindhu was telling me that one of the girls on her bus did the very exact thing and she told her to pick up the wrapper off the ground. This is a young girl who lived in the US and moved here only a year back. I really really hope that Sindhu and Rushil don't pick up the littering trait after years of living here. Just the other day on the street, in front of a doctor's office, I had two banana peels to throw and I asked a security guard if there was a garbage can and he told me to throw the peels in the drainage. I said I wouldn't do that and then he pointed me to a garbage can a few yards away. Why didn't he just point me to it in the first place? It seems to me that everyone ensures that their small corner is clean without caring about the surroundings. Shopkeepers sweep their floors and throw the debris off to the side away from their store but they don't collect the dirt and throw it in a trash can. India has come a long way, at least now there are garbage cans on the streets and garbage is picked up daily at many locations. But, there is still a very long way to go and each one of us who lives here should be play some part in the cleanup.

Recycled bag

I went to a Christmas Bazaar this afternoon. It was an outdoor bazaar with a number of different boutiques selling Indian clothing and arts at their stalls under colourful shamianas. They also had a few food stalls and I ate Lebanese food after a long time. Anyway, I bought a kurti at a boutique called Ananya and the bag she gave me to carry my purchase is the one in the picture. It was a bag made from recycled newspapers. It had a note saying "Say no to plastic bags" on the back of it. It was made by an orphanage near her boutique. (Abalashrama - 26678694) The bag had a stylish look to it, with a cute handle and her logo on the front. Will serve very well as a gift bag or goody bag...

Another woman was selling jewelry, coaster, baskets, and trivets made of newspaper. She used glue and varnish to keep the product from unravelling.

Removal of Shoes

We have always removed our shoes after entering our house both here in India and back in America. In India, it is almost sacriligious to enter someone's home with your shoes on and more so if you don't know them or you're providing a service to them. The maid, the driver, the cook, the carpenter, etc.. will not only remove their shoes before entering but they will remove it at the first step, and not even on the porch. When friends/relatives come over, they will remove their shoes on the porch or after entering the house depending on their comfort level. Rushil and Sindhu's friends who are Indian raised will typically remove their shoes on the front porch. When the pizza delivery boy comes to our house, it's nightime and you know how squeamish I am about mosquitos and other bugs entering the house so I insist that he enters the home while I pay him. He protests and finally Sindhu forces him to come in saying we don't want mosquitos to enter the house.

When the India movers brought in our US shipment, all of them removed their shoes when they entered our house. We insisted that they keep on their shoes as I was worried they would drop a box or refrigerator on their foot. They however said it was safer for them not to have their shoes on. This is a huge difference from the US, where the maids, the movers, handymen all insist on wearing their shoes for safety reasons. The India movers were scrawny looking, not like the big bulky movers back in America. Our Indian movers did not even have any dollies or harnesses, can you believe they carried some of the heavy pieces like a refrigerator on one person's back. Horrifying to watch. Yet they did a great job and there was very little damage.

Sindhu and Rushil take a bus to school. Even the teachers take the same school bus which provides more security for the children in addition to the school bus driver and his two helpers. There is one school staff member that gets on at our bus stop. He is an Ayappa devotee and as I mentionned earlier, there is an Ayappa festival going on. So for 40 days, he will be fasting, wearing only black, a large bindi/bottu on his forehead, no shoes, no meat and the list goes on. Every day, he walks barefoot onto the bus and everyday, I note in my head that he is not wearing shoes. I know it's silly given the number of people in India that have no shoes/chappals and walk around barefoot but somehow it's seems out of place on the school bus.

Communication Differences

Voicemail is not commonly used in India. My cell phone has no voicemail capability and neither does my home phone. I do have voicemail at work but people don't leave messages. SMS is the way to go. If you can't reach someone, you SMS them and leave them a message that way. People use their cell phones for paying bills, and banking too. Dr's office SMS you a reminder for an appointment, airlines will send you reminders, and many stores send you SMS messages to alert you to sales. I think the main reason for this is that most people have cell phones but they don't necessarily have computers or broadband service so this is the only mode of communication technology wise. Initially, I thought it was bizarre to use SMS and thought it was form of messaging used only by the young, but now I find myself using it too. When the Mumbai blasts happened, I had SMSed my relative to ask her how she was, I thought it was better to do that then clog up the airwaves during this critical period when everyone would be trying to reach their friends and family. I received a reply from her within minutes that she was fine. Even for Diwali, I sent wishes to many of my relatives via SMS. Another interesting phone feature is that you can set music to your ringtone so when I call people, I often hear film music instead of a ring tone. Rushil and Sindhu really get a kick out of it. Once I get my new cell phone, I'll figure out how to set that.

Morning Wakeup Call

There is an Ayappa festival going on right now and every morning at 6:30AM, they blast devotional songs for an hour so. I don't really mind as the music is quite nice and it's a reminder to me that I better start getting ready. The interesting thing is that noise pollution is not regulated all. Sometimes late at night (9 or 10PM), someone will be blasting devotional songs or movie songs and noone blinks an eye. When I mention it others, I think they are so used it, they hardly notice that there was music blasting. Even our security guard blows loud whistles in the middle of night. We can be thankful for the fact that we do not have to hear traffic noises from our home.

2009 Holidays and Festivals

Can you believe all but one of the holidays/festivals next year land on a Monday or Friday. You won't believe how overjoyed we are about this. I wish Sankranthi also landed on a Monday or Friday as it is a big Andhra celebration and I would have loved to spend it in Hyderabad with our relatives. It's also a special one for children so it would have been a nice experience for Rushil and Sindhu too. Well I'm still thankful for all the other long weekends. We're planning the first trip of 2009 during the Republic Day long weekend.

14-Jan-09 Wednesday Makara Shankranthi
26-Jan-09 Monday Republic Day
27-Mar-09 Friday Ugadi
10-Apr-09 Friday Good Friday
01-May-09 Friday May Day
14-Aug-09 Friday Janamashtami
21-Sep-09 Monday Ramzan
28-Sep-09 Monday Vijaya Dashami
02-Oct-09 Friday Gandhi Jayanthi
16-Oct-09 Monday Naraka Chaturdashi/ Deepavali
25-Dec-09 Friday Christmas

Na?

I noticed it during my first one on one with one of the college grads in my team. He would say some sentence and tag a "Na?" to the end of it. Eg. "Food and lodging in Calcutta is much cheaper than in Bangalore, na?" Anyway, I love it when people say it, it seems to be used more among the Hindi speaking crowd. Don't be surprised if after a few years of living here, I start tagging "na" at the end my sentences instead of "eh!".

Snakes :-(

One cannot have a blog about living in India and not have some reference to snakes in it. Today I was dropping Sindhura's friend Nimisha back at home after their tennis class. I have noticed that every time I open her gate, Nimisha pauses before moving foward. I was teasing her about it and her mother came out and mentionned that they saw 4-5 snakes in the last 2 months in their yard. Then she went on to say that there are a lot of snakes in the neighborhood and they are attracted to the frogs and rats. I have seen frogs in their yard quite a few times. Anshula has spent the last 3 weeks pruning all her plants and then clearing all the tall grass in her neighboring plot so the frogs, rats and snakes have nowhere to hide. Guess what I announced when I got home, we're also going to do some cleaning up in our yard. Rushil's friend, Shrey came by later and he used to know the previous tenants and told us that they also saw a few snakes in our yard. I'm already paranoid enough when I walk through our house in the dark worried about what I'm going to step on, this bit of news is not going to help me.

Ravi, Shilpa and Prachet

Ravi and Shilpa are my cousins and they live in Bangalore with their adorable son Prachet. I should have mentionned them long ago as they have been very helpful and a big part of our social life on weekends. Usually either Ravi's parents or Shilpa's parents visiting from Hyderabad so as a bonus we also meet with them. Prachet adores Sindhu and during this last visit, he kept calling out her name, it was so cute. When we were at our service apartment in Koramangala, we used to meet them more often as they lived closer to us. I was not working then so sometimes, they would drop in during the weekdays too. In this way, the experience in Bangalore is different from the US as our social life revolved mainly around our friends, here we hardly meet our friends but we get together with family on a regular basis. Prasad also has 2 sets of cousins here and we've started to socialize with them too. This past weekend Ravi's brother Venu and his wife were in Bangalore in transit and they came over for lunch. Again, the carrom board came out and Rushil had a wonderful time playing with them.